Practical insights from expert educators at Tutors International working with high-performance families.
“They’re bright. They’ve revised. So why are they panicking?” We hear this a lot from parents.
It’s not laziness. And it’s not a lack of preparation. In fact, the most anxious children are often the ones who care the most. They’ve set high standards for themselves. They want to do well. But when the pressure mounts, their performance suffers - not because they’re incapable, but because anxiety hijacks the brain’s ability to think clearly under stress.
So - what actually helps?
Our private tutors have spent years working with children facing demanding exams in unusual contexts: athletes who compete internationally, children who travel across time zones weekly, students transitioning from elite boarding schools to bespoke home education programmes.
Here are the techniques they use - quietly effective, research-backed, and often overlooked.
1. Write about your worries (yes, really)
A slightly unconventional strategy - but one that’s backed by solid research out of the University of Chicago. It’s called expressive writing, and it works.
Just before the test, children write freely about their worries. The act of putting anxious thoughts on paper - without structure or judgement - helps to reduce the cognitive load those thoughts would otherwise occupy during the exam.
The study found that students who engaged in expressive writing for 10 minutes prior to a test - particularly those with high test anxiety - performed significantly better than those who did not. The effect was especially noticeable in Maths, where anxiety often has a more direct impact on working memory and problem-solving.
“It’s a way of clearing the mental clutter. A quiet reset, just when they need it.” - Alma, Private Tutor
2. Say ‘I’m excited’ instead of ‘I’m anxious’
Children are often told to calm down. But research from Harvard Business School shows that trying to suppress anxiety isn’t always effective. A better strategy? Reframe it.
Anxiety and excitement feel similar in the body: racing heart, adrenaline, alertness. Teaching your child to relabel their nerves as excitement can reduce the emotional load and improve performance.
It’s not magic. But it does help.
One of our tutors working with a 13-year-old violinist prepping for academic and music scholarships encourages her to say, “I’m ready,” before walking into tests. It changes the story her brain tells itself.
3. Study the smart way: Mix it up
When students are anxious, their instinct is often to re-read the same material over and over. It feels comforting. But it doesn’t help long-term retention - and it can worsen anxiety when the test doesn’t look exactly like the notes.
Instead, our tutors use interleaved practice - a method that mixes up topics and problem types. It trains the brain to recognise patterns and apply knowledge flexibly. Students become more comfortable with uncertainty. And that’s the real antidote to test panic.
4. For essay anxiety, think like the examiner.
In-class essay prompts are a common source of panic, especially for thoughtful, perfectionist students. One of our tutors uses a deceptively simple technique that consistently delivers results: ask the student to imagine they are the teacher and come up with five plausible prompts. Then, build a rough outline for each.
“Every time I’ve done this with a student, the actual exam question has been one of the five. Every time.” - Jack, Private Tutor
This strategy flips the script from reacting in fear to preparing with foresight. It’s not just about guessing correctly. It’s about entering the room already in control of the task.
5. Ask three questions, every time
This is a metacognitive trick that builds calm through clarity. After a study session, have your child ask themselves:
- What do I understand well?
- What do I still find confusing?
- What will I do next?
This reflective habit encourages a sense of control and clear next steps. Research shows that students who engage in it feel more confident and perform better. It also gives anxious children something to do, rather than just worry.
6. Don’t just review - retrieve
When our tutors begin working with students who are nervous test-takers, one of the first things they do is introduce retrieval practice.
It’s simple: instead of looking at notes, students try to recall the information from memory. This strengthens long-term learning and builds confidence. The brain becomes used to performing under pressure, so exams don’t feel so unfamiliar.
It’s not about getting it all right straight away. It’s about training the brain to think under pressure. Like sparring before the match.
7. Sleep, water, and a bit of air
There’s no glamour in this one. But it’s worth repeating. Sleep, hydration, nutrition, and screen boundaries form the quiet infrastructure of academic performance.
Neuroscientist Matthew Walker is clear: deep, consistent sleep is essential for memory, emotional regulation, and cognitive clarity. Yet students often sacrifice it for last-minute revision.
Jonathan Haidt makes the case for strict limits on social media, especially in the run-up to exams. Constant digital stimulation undermines attention and elevates anxiety - two things no child needs more of under pressure.
On nutrition, while direct adolescent data is limited, Lisa Mosconi’s research on brain health and the Mediterranean diet suggests a clear link between whole foods, omega-3s, and optimal brain function. Our tutors see the impact: more stable energy, sharper thinking, and calmer moods.
Small, steady rituals: a good night’s sleep, a glass of water, a short walk before the exam.
Will they just grow out of test anxiety?
“The idea of being ‘over-prepared’ is a myth. In all my years of working with students, I’ve never once seen poor performance because a child knew too much. More preparation is always more.” - Adam Caller, Founder, Tutors International
Test anxiety doesn’t tend to disappear on its own. Left unmanaged, it can affect confidence, performance, and even long-term academic choices.
What we’ve found time and time again is that children thrive when they’re taught how to manage stress, not just that they should.
If your child is struggling with test nerves, you’re not alone - and neither are they. These strategies, quietly used by our expert tutors with remarkable young people around the world, are both practical and powerful.
And no, they don’t require overhauling your household or turning exam prep into a military operation.
Just a few simple shifts. Some of them small. All of them significant.
Research references:
Ramirez, G., & Beilock, S. L. (2011). Writing about testing worries boosts exam performance in the classroom. Science (New York, N.Y.), 331(6014), 211–213. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1199427
Brooks A. W. (2014). Get excited: reappraising pre-performance anxiety as excitement. Journal of experimental psychology. General, 143(3), 1144–1158. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0035325
Rohrer, D., Taylor, K. The shuffling of mathematics problems improves learning. Instr Sci 35, 481–498 (2007). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11251-007-9015-8
Dunlosky, J., Rawson, K. A., Marsh, E. J., Nathan, M. J., & Willingham, D. T. (2013). Improving Students' Learning With Effective Learning Techniques: Promising Directions From Cognitive and Educational Psychology. Psychological science in the public interest : a journal of the American Psychological Society, 14(1), 4–58. https://doi.org/10.1177/1529100612453266
Roediger, H. L., & Karpicke, J. D. (2006). Test-enhanced learning: taking memory tests improves long-term retention. Psychological science, 17(3), 249–255. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01693.x
